I hate TikTok.
Not because of the likelihood that the Chinese government is using it to track people, because let’s be honest, every tech company in America is doing that and we just casually accept it like it’s no big deal, I hate that stupid app because it’s the first one that has ever made me feel old.
I can remember a day when I was part of the generation that was on the come-up with technology. We decided what was cool, and now we don’t.
These Gen Zers and their weird hair and stupid dances are apparently the trend setters. I’m just a washed-up dude in his mid-to-late-20s who is trying to hold on to whatever coolness he still has.
ANYWAYS, let’s move on from my personal problems.
I’ve recently been informed that the kiddos of TikTok are having a war over how to properly wear your goggles and helmet.
Some claim that it’s ugly if you wear them on the outside of your helmet, and others claim it’s stupid if you wear if them under your helmet.
What’s that? You want my personal opinion? Don’t mind if I do…
I’ve always thought that wearing goggles under your helmet looks cooler, but it’s just not functional enough for me. I, like many others of my intelligent colleagues, wear the goggles on the outside of my helmet so I can pull them up when I need to air out.
That’s why I’ve always opted for the goggles over the helmet look and just hoped that my cooler park rat friends didn’t think I looked like a dweeb.
Let’s take a look at some of the ‘arguments’ made by TikTokers from around the globe. It’s important to note that none of them actually argue, they just lip synch to a stupid song and state their opinion in text, as TikTokers do.
Goggles Over Helmet
^Love how this kid is finally realizing how much easier it is to handle your goggles when they’re outside the helmet. Kid was probably obsessed with looking steezy for the longest time, but he’s finally come to appreciate functionality. Welcome to #gogglesovergang.
^God this music is f#$%ing terrible, but thankfully he’s got the right idea. He’s #gogglesovergang and that’s fine by me as long as he doesn’t play that stupid music with a Bluetooth speaker…
^I have no idea what in the hell she’s lip synching too. In fact, I highly recommend you just turn your volume off to save yourself. Again, I don’t get this TikTok thing. How is that people enjoy watching this shit? Ugh. I’m so old. Anyways, another member of #gogglesovergang and I’ll count it as a win.
Goggles Under Helmet
^Here’s that annoying ass background soundtrack again except she’s spun it the other way. You think I look like an extra terrestrial with my goggles on the outside of my helmet? Oh yeah? Well you look like…uhh…you look like…ummm…stupid! Yeah! You look stupid! Take that you #gogglesundergang peasant.
Reply to @katiebogar and that’s how it’s done 😉 #skitok
^This video is sus as hell. That’s what the kids say, right? Sus? Meaning suspect? I think I’m using that correctly. How in the hell is she able to just pull her helmet back that easily? Does she not have it strapped? Is she a sorceress? I’m calling cap. That’s another young person term right? Cap? In fact, #gogglesundergang is all cap. How am I doing with this acting young stuff?
^Got ’em! Caught all you fools. Not more skiing or snowboarding for you. If you’re #gogglesundergang don’t pass GO and take your goofy butt straight to JAIL! JAIL. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. THIS HARMLESS CHOICE OF WEARING YOUR GOGGLES UNDER YOUR HELMET WARRANTS A PRISON SENTENCE. HARD TIME. DON’T DROP THE SOAP. JAIL.
Thanks to all of you that have made it this far and have read my nonsense. I had fun with it. Drop me a line if you’re #gogglesovergang. Let’s organize so we can keep fighting the good fight against #gogglesundergang.