I gotta hand it to Stuart Winchester of The Storm Skiing Journal & Podcast for digging up this absolute gem of a trail map. The Storm covers skiing and snowboarding stories across the continent. It’s a great source of ski industry news for all of you out there that enjoy that kind of stuff. Check it out here.
The Storm managed to dig up an old trail map for a now-defunct ski area in New Hampshire. King Ridge shut down in 1995. You can learn more about King Ridge on New England Ski History.
This might sound dramatic, but I feel like the resort’s trail map from 1994 should have kept that place afloat for years to come alone. It goes to show how much value a good marketing person can bring to the table.
Check out this beauty for yourself. I recommend clicking on The Storm Skiing Journal & Podcast’s Tweet below. The image quality is better on Twitter, and you can zoom in to see all of the wacky details.
*UPDATE: It’s been brought to my attention that this trail map is inspire by Alice In Wonderland. Not sure how I didn’t put that together… 😂*
This is just… so weird. 1994 trailmap from King Ridge, New Hampshire, the year before they shut down for good: pic.twitter.com/MyspfQIuyw
— The Storm Skiing Journal & Podcast (@StormSkiJournal) April 21, 2022
I’ve zoomed in on some of my favorite details to give them the praise that they deserve.
I just can’t get enough of this wacky medieval-steam-punky artwork that the artist has so eloquently created.
^I identified most with this cute little Cheshire cat. Skiing is what makes me smile too, buddy. I want to take a lap with this furry friend and smile all day. I could really use that right about now…
^^Also, this top-hat character looks like he’d be fun to follow around on the mountain for a day. He’s probably the guy who isn’t technically that good at skiing, but you know you’re going to have a fun time with him on the mountain.
^^^We all have a guy or gal like that in our group.
^A snowboarding dragon…?! Say no more. I want to shred some knuckle-dragging laps with this flying lizard soooo badly.
^^Bonus is that he can fly which means you don’t have to wait in the lift lines if you become good enough friends with him.
^Okay. I had to include this one because it’s so damn weird. I don’t know if my eyes are deceiving me, but I’m fairly sure that this is some form of goat that’s living inside of a turtle shell? Or maybe he just put the turtle shell on so he could slide down the hill? But if that’s the case, why is he wearing skis? Is he trying to be like Saucer Boy/Shane McConkey?
^^What would you even call this beast if it is in fact a half-goat-half turtle hybrid? Is it a Gurtle? Maybe a Toat? My mind is racing with questions. I need to know more about this mysterious beast.
^^^Can somebody get Netflix on the phone? It seems like they’ll give just about anybody money for anything. Let’s get a full sitcom series where we can examine this creature for what it is.
Who is with me?
Well I’ve had my fun now. Kudos to any of you that actually read everything above, and know that I’m bestowing G.N.A.R. points on behalf of Unofficial Networks if you thought any of it was funny.
Last thing- Does anybody have a lead on who the artist of this trail map is? I can’t really seem to find anything online about it. Thanks!