It’s no secret an upper crust covers Aspen’s mountains, moving in ways many of us will never fully understand. I’m not talking top layers of snow that behave in particular ways because of oddities in moisture or geography.

I’m talking about the ultra-rich. Financiers, celebrities, and heads of state that pair their lines with Veuve Clicquot and don’t bat an eye at instructor fees that exceed $800 (sometimes accompanied by tips that exceed the day price).

For a glimpse of how that slice of the population lives– or rather skis– travel writer Brandon Presser recently penned a bit of a tell-all after speaking with industry insiders and instructors.

It turns out they celebrate like many a ski bum, with plenty of sex, drugs, and copious amounts of booze. They just sub out the town profligate, skunk weed, and PBR for models, champagne, and whatever designer drug the pop stars are doing these days.

(They even hit-and-run, allegedly!)

Check this piece out for the celebrity name drops, tales of debauchery, and reassurance that you shred far better than (and surprisingly similarly to) the one percent.

Read the “Secrets of Aspen Ski Instructors” in Bloomberg here.

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