not getting laid

That’s easy, move to a ski town in the first place. There, you are 5 steps closer to not getting laid. But suppose your research of ski towns was poorly conducted and you moved to Whistler instead. You tried to live out your days in celibacy, but ended up in a semi-bustling sex-crazed and club-loving resort town that happens to ski also, but often as a way to ease hangovers between whomp whomp sessions. Well then you will need some help in the realm of not getting laid.

The simplest first step to take is in your housing choice. Of course the more male Australians you can pack in your immediate vicinity will aid in buffering you from chicks. However, if living in a dorm room doesn’t flaunt your lack of rent money well enough; try to find a similar situation as far from the Village as possible. Emerald is a good start, Pemberton is better, Bralorne is ideal. Think basement too.

not getting laid in a ski town

There are still the usual musts that you cannot forget in this struggle. These of course include showering as infrequently as possible, not fully understanding the mechanics of shaving, long rapist hair, doing meth, and wearing multiple tall tees at once. It is still not always that easy though. We need to ensure rejection.


not getting laid

To step up your not getting laid-ness, make sure you secure an internet-based job as quickly as possible. Certainly not one that you go to an office to perform, but one that is best done in a dungeon. The last thing you want is to end up managing a restaurant and being forced to interact with cute servers. Keep in mind, the more time you spend in a position of power amongst sexy females, the better chance you have of getting laid, and we want to extinguish that chance for good.

Finally, the last bit of advice that I can give to avoid having yoga orgies is just be respectful and humble. Girls hate that shit and can smell it like a weakness. If you feel your game is somehow working on a girl, then throw out a genuine compliment. Works 60% of the time, every time.

how to not get laid in a ski town

Now follow these steps and you mark my words: you will not get laid in a ski town. You won’t get The Clap either.

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9 replies on “How NOT TO Get Laid In A Ski Town”