You walk into a ski town bar horny and ready to have some fun on a Saturday night and whattaya see? Cock. Lots and lots of cock. You balk, afraid to walk in, but you’ve already been to the only other 2 crappy bars in town and it was the exact same. So you buy a drink, pretend you’re enjoying the atrocious local band, and scan the bar for females. You see two and they’re actually pretty cute. But the male harem around ’em could keep a 17-year-old on viagra from getting excited. After 15 minutes of watching ski porn videos of conditions way better than what you’re gonna ski tomorrow, you get bored and disgusted with your “night out” and start doing the math. You count 38 guys and 7 girls in the bar. A roughly 5:1 ratio. WTF? Is this representative of the whole town!?……….yes, yes it is.
Officially, the demographics don’t look bad:
Breckenridge, Co = 1.6 males to 1 female
Truckee, Ca = 1.1 males to 1 female
Jackson Hole, Wy = 1.2 males to 1 female
Steamboat Springs, Co = 1.2 males to 1 female
But, these numbers don’t account for the seasonal migration of drunk penis that happens in every ski town every fall. This bombards the local population and sends male to female ratios skyrocketing to 7:1 in almost any ski town. The only real exception to this rule is Salt Lake City, which isn’t actually a ski town and who f*%k wants to live in Utah anyway?
Images provided by langeskiboots.com
So what are you’re options?
Strike, and strike early. Hopefully you speak Spanish or Portuguese (which you don’t) or have blond enough hair to seem exotic to the Southies that are coming in December. If not? Well, it’s internet porn and Jergen’s for you again this winter.
The take away.
Nothing really. You live in a ski town, there are no girls, and you’re gonna meet lots of really great guys all winter long. You’ll never have so many bro-brah buddies that you’re just dying to impress in all your life. But like most ski town bums, you’ll either settle for an ugly chick or go back to the East Coast where you came from and start working for your dad again.