You heard it here first folks. The ice cream machine at the McDonald’s in Estes Park, CO has finally been fixed, and the first customers in line this morning was a herd of 100+ elk.
When asked about the experience, Buck (a large bull elk) said:
“We just couldn’t wait to have some delicious ice cream again. We’ve had a long summer of just grass, and we were looking forward to a sweet treat. They were only able to serve 5 of us before the machine broke down again, but we were still so thrilled.”
Photo by: Paul Yerington
Estes Park’s human residents were a little less thrilled about the day.
Becky, a rich lady who owns a $700 million estate on top of a mountain just outside of Rocky Mountain National Park, said:
“Why do we even allow elk to live here in Estes Park? They don’t pay taxes. They’ve never had to work hard a day in their lives. All they do is meander around town, eat our grass for free, and assault good hardworking Americans. Now they’re eating all of the ice cream at McDonald’s? Where do we draw the line?”
Becky was walking by the herd filming with her cellphone to post a video to Truth Social later that day. She was heard screaming “Build the Elk wall” and “Go back to where you came from” and “Save our ice-cream” to the herd before she was charged by angry bull elk that had finally had enough.
She’s currently recovering in a nearby hospital where she’s refusing to pay her medical bills because: “Elk get treated by veterinarians for free, why should I have to pay?”