Protective or not, what we wear on our head to stay warm on the slopes says a lot about us as people. For instance– those who purposefully wear a toboggan with a silly pom-pom instead of a new helmet are typically old, laid back skiers. On the flip side, the 21 year-old wearing a full-face dirt biking helmet is looking to hurt himself as soon as possible.
Then there’s everything in between…
The ski bum’s favorite helmet, The Smith Variance protects more ski bum noggins in the United States than perhaps any other model. That’s all thanks to Smith’s prolific and unregulated pro deal on Experticity.
Smith Variance Stereotypes:
- Bought via pro-deal
- Person rocking helmet usually abides by ‘pack mentality’
The person wearing this helmet inbounds needs to get off the chairlift and go back to where they came from ASAP. By that we mean the backcountry.
Climbing Helmet Stereotypes:
- Got lost and somehow ended up skiing at the resort.
- Needs a GPS in order to return home– AKA the backcountry.
Turtle Fur Headband
Hailing from Athens, Georgia, this undergrad is on vacation with her family and she wants to let that pony tail fly for all the sexually frustrated ski bums to see. With that in mind, she ditches the helmet and toboggan for something a little more… revealing?
Turtle Fur Stereotypes:
- Will escape parent’s condo to attend heavy apres drinking session at the behest of one lucky ski bum
- Prioritizes fashion over function
If you see a Boeri Helmet bombing down the slope– get outta the way. These human beings turned cannonballs are out to go as fast as humanely possible on the east coast’s steepest slopes. ON YOUR LEFT!
- Speed at which they’d crash would likely prove fatal without Boeri headgear
- Crashing into another skier is almost inevitable
Those rocking Ruroc helmets are hoping to hide their face for some odd reason. Whether that’s to hide a Bane like facial deformity or to go renegade OB– we never know what the Ruroc crowd is doing.
- Breath only through their mouths
- Typically hiding for some weird reason
The full face is straight up aggressive. Unless you’re Seth Morrison, you likely have no business wearing this helmet. With that disclaimer out of the way, the typical full face skier is on first chair everyday until they get injured. That usually happens within the first two weeks of the season.
Full Face Stereotypes:
- Always on first chair
- Typically experiences season ending injury before the New Year.
POC Ski Racing Helmet
“Want to race to the bottom?”
- Won’t stop bragging about their ski racing background
- Best butts on the hill
If your sole hope is to be considered a local one day, wearing a Carhartt Toboggan you bought at the hardware store is a good place to start. Just don’t get caught slippin by trying to use your mommy’s card to buy the next round of beers.
- Often seen sitting at the bar drinking Budweiser bottles solo, trying to look ‘deep.’
- Boasts blue-collar background even though their family owns a major contracting firm.
If you see someone wearing a Sweet Protection helmet, chances are they hail from somewhere in Scandinavia. In addition to their northern heritage, their home country prides itself on deep pockets by which they can afford ridiculously priced ski helmets.
Sweet Protection Stereotypes:
- Scandavian by birth
- Poor ski form