Every blue moon, being hungover can actually improve your performance like some kind of Drunken Master skiing equivalent but more often than not– feeling dumpy after a night of drinking doesn’t help.
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemingway
Related: The Cure-All Skier’s Breakfast
For the most part, skiing hungover sucks (*unless you’re still feeling boozy from the night before). This list is a warning to all those ski bums pony’ing up way too close to the bar for a round of fireball shots. You sure you’re gonna want to ski bell-2-bell tomorrow bro?
The Worst Things About Skiing Hungover
1. Your feet hurt.
Fact– your feet swell up when your hungover which makes you boots feel like a pair of bear traps that cost $800.
2. You can’t get enough chapstick
No matter how much chapstick one uses, those lips will remain flakey and disgusting, leaving most people to wonder, “does that person have herpes?”
3. The squirts
Beer dumps are the worst and if you decided to add in fireball, you’re left with the squirts. Which leads us to our next point– the only thing that can ruin a powder day is sharting your pants.
4. Your hookup from last night will hunt you down at après
You’re not proud of what you did last night. Hell, who would be? Last thing you remember was riding a bronze horse near main street before heading home with someone whose name you can’t remember. The worst part of the whole deal– she’s coming for you at après.
5. Forgetting Your Pass
Fuck. That’s $10 bucks for another RFID card.
6. Gondola Breath
The only thing worse than seriously bad breath is being stuck on a gondola and having to smell said bad breath.
7. Riding the bus
Perhaps nothing is worse than getting on a crowded bus full of Jerry’s when you’re feeling the hurt from last night. Sit down and suddenly Jerry decides to move in, standing above you with his ass in your face and bam– That mother fucker rips a fart in your face. GET ME OUTTA HERE!