Keyhole | Alta/Snowbird, UT — ‘Mexico’

Keyhole is a stash that demands reverence. So instead of yelling “Keyhole’s open” in the midst of a crowded Wildcat lift line, simply turn to your buddies and scream, “you boys like Mexico!?!?” and get to hiking.

Gondolier | Stowe, VT — ‘The Patagonia Parade’

Now that Vail resorts has acquired Stowe Mountain Resort, the percentage of skiers clothed in Patagonia garb should hit a record high.

Heuga Express | Hunter Mountain, NY — ‘The Jersey Turnpike’ 

“If you can ski hunter mountain, you can ski anywhere” – Johnny Drama

Sundance | Jackson, WY — ‘Dilly, Dally Alley’

Dilly, Dally Alley and Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride are both needed name changed @JacksonHole

A veritable death funnel just above the base area, Jackson Hole would benefit from changing the name of its chaotic ‘Sundance’ trail to ‘Dilly, Dally Alley.’ In addition to the name change they should also upgrade the run to a double black due to the egregious amount of lolly gagging on a trail that should be safe but is anything but.

North Summit Snowfield | Big Sky, MT — ‘Rock Skis’

Why doesn’t anyone mention the hundreds upon hundreds of dollars worth of prerequiste base damage and edge work that comes with every Big Sky visit? For that reason alone, they should change the name of the “North Summit Snowfield” to “Rock Skis.” Because if you don’t bring your rock skis, you’ll be killing your daily driver instead.

Morningside Lift Line | Steamboat Resort, CO — ‘Texas Terrain Park’

The lowest angle slope in all of Colorado is an obvious favorite among Texans looking to send it. A natural kicker in the middle of the run is the only highlight on the otherwise flat slope but catching a Texan go fat to flat is priceless– hence the need for a name change.

Moseley’s | Squaw Valley, CA — ‘West Face’

Dilly, Dally Alley and Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride are both needed name changed @JacksonHole

Damn near everyone loves Squaw’s golden boy, Jonny Moseley but we all know it’s called “West Face.”

Kiwi Flats | Mammoth Mountain, CA | ‘Eat Sh*t And Die’

This run is not flat like its name suggests. It’s f*cking steep as sh*it and should have profanity and death in its title… for obvious reasons.

Casper Traverse | Jackson, WY | ‘Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride’

When it comes to fun runs @Jackson, it doesn’t get much better than gondi laps to Casper trees. But in order to access this terrain get your knees and ass ready for a traverse that is as rowdy as “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.”

Also Read: 10 Things Ski Bums Take For Granted

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