10 Things Ski Bums Take For Granted
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Their college degree
Nothing says, “I’m perfectly suited for this serving job” than a resume with a Master’s degree in Geology.
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Ski patrol
Ski bums bitch when the GNAR stays closed but they can’t stop thanking ski patrol when they break their tib/fib and need a ride down the hill.
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Happy Hour
If it weren’t for happy hour, ski bums would neither get laid nor drunk– A sad scene indeed.
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Tourist Dollars
Tourist dollars fuel ‘the dream’ that ski bums claim they’re so committed to. In fact, tourists are the only ones committed to spending buku dollars at anything besides sunset happy hour.
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White privilege
Let’s be real– skiing is not the most diverse of sports. Most ski towns in North America boast a homogenous mix of white heritage that is akin to whole milk. And while these caucasian residents might bitch about their ski pass being over $1k bucks, they’re still white and ski town life ain’t that hard.
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Minimum wage
If it wasn’t for minimum wage, some ski areas would pay their employees with a season pass and that would be it. Thankfully– they get a measly $7.25/hr for washing dishes at the main lodge in addition to unofficial shift meals and a season pass.
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Shop beers
Even if you don’t work in a rental shop, all ski bums benefit from shop beers at one point or another. Every little bit of beer counts, right?
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Lasting relationships
This one should be self-explanatory. Skiing Powder>Physical Intimacy
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DIN settings
“Just crank ’em up to 16– I’ll be fine.”
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The summer
Early on in a ski bum’s lifespan, he or she forsakes all summer activities and instead just sits on the couch watching ski porn and thinking about the first snowfall of the season. Years later that they’ll rue the folly of their flip-flopless summers.