No more tram laps. No more Cody missions. And no more Tram fart claims.
Related: The Top 5 Off-season Activities for the Unemployed Ski Bum
But like all sad situations, there’s a silver lining to be found. Whether that means spending time cultivating a new relationship (#4) or taking those skiing talents to the Eastern Sierra (#1), Jackson locals have a plethora of opportunities in which to stay entertained this offseason.
5 Things To Do Now That Jackson Hole Mountain Resort Is Closed For The Season
5) Harvest corn on “The King”
There’s no excuse to be a lazy sack of sh*t when Snow King Mountain is located conveniently in your backyard. Grab the skins, get to hiking, and ski down to the The Lift for unofficial après.
4) Get laid for the first time in 6 months
It’s been a season full of powder but lacking in something else. Lucky for you, offseason is a surprisingly good time to find a romantic partner. With spring and end of season parties comes volatility. Starting in April, people begin breaking off their winter romances in favor of what the summer might hold sex-wise. This breakup en masse leaves a large pool of uncommitted ski bums with nothing but good times in their future. Which brings me to my next question: Who wants to grab a drink tonight?
3) Use A Raft To Scope lines in Grand Teton National Park
Once the boat ramps are cleared of snow, hit up the upper reaches of The Snake River and check out some of the best backcountry lines in North America from the comfort of an inflatable raft. Just don’t forget to bring a good set of binoculars.
2) Put summer wax on all the resort skis
Preserve those bases and forget that pre-season tune by throwing an ungodly amount of wax on your skis this spring. The wax prevents the bases from drying out and deteriorating during the summer months and any excess wax on the edges will keep the rust away.
1) Drive to Mammoth and ski for the three more months…
Mammoth Mountain is open till July 4th. Just saying…