Are we alone in the universe?
That question and the million questions that spring from such a query are innumerable. However, the IOC is already asking some unexpected questions following NASA’s discovery of liquid water on the mountains of Mars today.
The first question
Can we start snowmaking up there for an inaugural interplanetary Olympics in 2102?
That question seemed to be the first thing to come out of IOC president Thomas Bach’s mouth on Monday after NASA released the astounding news about the existence of water on the mountains of our closest planetary neighbor. Some found it curious that Bach seemed uninterested in whether or not extra-terrestrial life exists on Mars but instead wondered aloud as to whether or not the mountains can hold snow and if conditions and vertical drop would permit for an FIS certified downhill race. Also discussed during Thomas Bach’s impromtu press conference were Mar’s infrastructure needs that would have to be met in order to provide a viewer friendly atmosphere that 2nd-century millenials would appreciate.
When asked about transportation to Mars, Bach commented that no matter what the obstacle, “these are the winter Olympics and we owe it to the people of the world to hold such an event on an interplanetary venue.” He then added “it’s vital to the economy and future of the planet Mars to hold an Olympics in the next 100 years.”
Among questions posed by reporters included the viability of Mars as a venue that will actually attract a Winter Olympic crowd.
Bach responded by saying, “the viability of having an outdoor winter olympics on the planet Earth in 2102 would be impossible in the first place due to the lack of snowy mountains on this our host planet. With climate change, scientists estimate the last remaining peaks with ice will reside in the baseball stadium sized freezer of Vladamir Putin who will eventually rule the world from a cryogenic capsule.”
As reporters diligently recorded Bach’s closing words, Lindsey Vonn announced that she will continue to try and qualify for the upcoming olympics, including the one to come in 2102. The all time winningest ski racer took to twitter after the IOC president’s press conference and made her announcement with the hashtags #IwillwhatIwant #MarsOlympics2102.
So far, other canidate cities include future world capitals Tehran, Cairo, and Ulaanbaatar in Mongolia. Due to the onset of climate change, all of these venues would include an indoor ski center setting that Bach says would hurt the reputability of the Winter Olympics.
“It’s vital to the world as a whole as well as the IOC to create the illusion that outdoor winter sports have a future in the universe at large.”– IOC President Thomas Bach