The 6 Women You Will Date While Living In a Ski Town
By, Barclay Idsal
The Undergrad: Prominent during summertime in ski towns across the country, The Undergrad moves without any real consequences. This is her vacation… you’re only part of it. So finding a willing river guide is no problem. However, since it’s The Undergrad’s vacation, there’s probably room for a couple shuttle drivers too.
The Graduate: Unlike The Undergrad, the Graduate acts much like Dustin Hoffman performs in the movie—shy and looking for something. She wants to stick around… maybe. Hopefully find someone worthwhile… yeah, yeah, yeah. Unfortunately for the honest Graduate but closeted nut job (trust me, I’m crazy), she ends up settling for a nacho toting part-time server. But you never know. I’ve seen it work.
The Nurse: There are a lot of women nursing ACL’s, C-7’s, and Achilles Tendons in ski towns. The Nurse usually happens to be in her late 20’s to early 40’s and looks pretty spicy in scrubs. Yet sooner or later, she gets tired of the ski bum antics. Finally, The Nurse moves to a neighboring, not-so-ski town with a cowboy boyfriend… that was weird.
The Snowboarder Friend: She likes to follow the boys, get the last gondola (AKA The Last Flock), and she’s really cool. The Snowboarder Friend doesn’t follow you into the backcountry, likes to après, and sports sexy goggles. So why not? Good question. Answer: Because The Snowboarder Friend lives with a bunch of douchey snowboarder guys that belong to some “crew” and hanging out with them is about as cool as peeing in your pants. It’s pretty cool.
The Unicorn: Unfortunately, she doesn’t exist. However, I’ve heard this term used with reckless abandon while referring to women on the ski hill or at the après ski bar. The Unicorn only exists in heaven. Some serious ladies come close but they are not The Unicorn. These semi-unicorns usually end up dating a cool “older” guy (sometimes a pro… brah).
The Climber: During the winter, she’s really bummed. The Climber won’t shut up about Vedauwoo and Red River Gorge in February while feet of fluff are piling up in the driveway. Not able to afford a snowboard because she spent all her money during her (t)rad summer in Yosemite, The Climber sulks around and dreams about fucking up her hands. She’s going to be a real downer for the entire winter, which in your case lasts 7 months. Move on. You don’t climb in the winter… you ski in the winter.
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