Kenny powers goggle tan bikini

Our hides have been getting cooked for ages and the sun has tattooed countless patterns on the faces, feet, backsides, bellies, legs, boobs, arms, and asses of people all over the world. But, I honestly can’t think of any sun spot held in such high esteem as the Goggle Tan in a ski town. Can you?

Hot Dog the movie Harken Banks Squaw

You’ve got your sock tan, bicycle tan, finger ring tans, toe ring tans, the “oh you missed a spot” sunscreen tan, watch tan, farmer tan, trucker tan, trucker hat tan, bikini tan, spagetthi strap tan, sunglasses tan, boating shoe or loafer tans, sandel tans in the Teva, Birkenstock, or flip flop variety, you’ve even got your designer tanttoos in the shape of tiny hearts, clovers, palm trees and more. But I don’t think any of those tans afford the wearer the sam kind of respect and legitimacy that a solid goggle tan does for the commited daily snow slider. goggle tan contest winner
Goggle tan contest winner (image:

A few other tans out there could be considered status symbols but it’s about 50/50 whether or not they’re symbols of high status. Before the 1920’s or so, tans in general had been associated with outdoor labor and being of limited means. Some tan line jargon out there has persisted in the same line of thought with terms like farmer tan, trucker tan or red neck. A lot of people go to great lengths to avoid tan lines marking their skin but even among the most public and fashion conscious members of pop culture the goggle tan can be worn comfortably.



kim kardashian goggle tan
Kim Kardashian: Hair by Fekkai, Face by Goggle Tan


Bikini tans can be kinda hot. Even a sandal tan of the flip flop variety might tell the tale of beach time and easy days in gentle weather.

Vanessa Aadland, Nakes Superior
Epic BN Bikini Tan

The goggle tan on the other hand, with all it’s indications of dedication and delinquency, is a part of the wearer’s identity and is quite possibly the greatest f#%ken tan line in the history of tan lines.

Ski Goggle tans have some pretty rad cousins too!

Col. Donald Blakeslee is believed to have flown more missions than any US fighter pilot during World War II. General Dwight D. Eisenhower awarded him the Distinguished Service Cross. (US Army Air Corps)
The Pilot Goggle Tan
Burning man goggle tan
The Burning Man Goggle Tan
vintage motor cycle rider with goggles
The Motorcycle Goggle Tan

There is concern in some circles that new trends in ski and snowboard attire may put the goggle tan at risk. I’m not worried. Fads fade, and so do tans, but I’m pretty sure the goggle tan will keep coming back year after year.




















The Bandana: A recent threat to the goggle tan.






If it’s not tits cold outside take off that silly ass mask and get some sun.

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