The dazzling new handle of the highly distinguished Dave’s Deli Water Fountain is looking F-I-N-E, Fine.
I’ve been skiing & quaffing dihydrogen monoxide at Squaw Valley incessantly since the Year of our Lord 2002 AD – and that f#$ked up old spigot of Adam’s Ale in Dave’s Deli has been physically retarded for every goddamn one of ‘em!
That veritable fountain of youth consistently has issues with its twisting handle that impede flow in such a manner that you’re left literally sucking on it, depositing mucus on it, and in the process consuming other peoples boogers. In severe cases, it simply ceases it’s illustrious effusions all together. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve arduously, yet deftly, screwed in the nut on the back of the handle for just one more taste of its award winning palatability (Tram operators are currently claiming that Squaw has the best tasting H2O in CA).
Just look at the excitement and bustle going on within the very souls of the patrons of the new Dave’s Deli Water Fountain!
Yesterday marked a brillant day in Squaw History. Yes, there was opening day in 1949, the Olympic Winter Games in 1960, the Freeride World Tour in 2010, and finally…the greatest day of all…May 2nd, 2011 when KSL rebuilt the Dave’s Deli Water Fountain.
Bless you KSL, bless you. This is by far your greatest achievement at Squaw Valley and the entire operation took less than 10 minutes and likely cost less than $15. Thus, you now have somewhere around $49,999,985.00 left to improve your beloved lifts, culinary culture, and whatnot. I assure you that all of those things are extraordinarily secondary compared with Earth’s ambrosial nectar: H2O. And not just any H2O! Oh, no! I speak of the Pure Liquid Dihydrogen Monoxide that emanates from the Dave’s Deli Water Fountain and none other!