Lake Louise - Bradley L. Grant

The 5 Worst Words in Skiing

1) Progression: Progress, progressing, progressed. All versions of this word are absolute bullshit when referring to skiing. Progression is possibly the weakest word in the English language and its use in skiing makes me sick. You know what is progressive in skiing right now? Not giving a shit about sponsors and the number of likes on your Instagram post. Instead, skiing moguls, wearing sunglasses, and having a good time is revolutionary, which is a word I like much more. (See Progression is Regression:

2) Dub: I don’t know what it is about bros but they love everything “Dub.”

A substitute for names that begin with the letter W, a type of aerial ski maneuver, and a kind of Electronic Dance Music I hate with all my soul… I’m not going to name names but you bros who cant stop “Dubbing Out”… you know who you are.

3) Rocker: A gimmick name that has garnered permanence, “Rocker” is here to stay. Personally, I like the terms “early rise,” or “reverse camber,” which are the exact same ideas but no, you had to give us ROCKER!!! And all of a sudden everyone can ski powder. Fuck!

4) Walk: Using the verb walk when referring to hiking is about the lamest, most conceited word on this list. All you “walkers” can shove it.

5) Side Country: There is No Side Country For Old Men… Just more places to ski.

[Image credit: Bradley L. Grant via Shutterstock]