If you're drinking margarita tubes on a daily basis... you're doing fine | Photo: Barclay Idsal
If you’re drinking margarita tubes on a daily basis… you’re doing just fine | Photo: Barclay Idsal

For first timers moving to the mountains, the pitfalls of the city can disappear faster than Texas skiers on a storm day. At first, the lack of traffic and honking taxi horns makes living in the mountains seem like paradise. But if we learned anything about paradise from Adam and Eve– it’s that you can blow it pretty quickly without even intending to do wrong by the ski gods.

Related: You Might Be A Ski Bum If……. [Part 2]

So for all those freshman making the move to a ski town, be wary and avoid the following mistakes. That said, you gotta get at least one of these on the docket or else you take the risk of risking nothing at all– and where’s the fun in that?

How To: Completely Blow It During Your First Year In A Ski Town

Never a sight you want to see | Photo: Paul Joseph

– Get a DUI during your first week in town

– Buy brand new skis while using your buddy’s shitty old boots

– Give the town legend everyone loves a black eye

– Get banned from the ski resort for ducking a rope on the first day of operations…

Tip your bartender | Photo: Vratislav Darmek

– Forget to tip your bartenders

– Spend entire first year getting too high to socialize

– Blow out knee going too big, too early

The tell-tale sign of a long offseason

– Talk more about the place you HAVE SKIED than the place you ARE SKIING.

– Have sex with your roommate

– Become The Town Cocaine Dealer.

“You Steve?”

Don’t be like Dex…

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