Damn Skippy! I mean…, DAAAMMMNNN SKIPPY! I had not accounted for this in my 2011-12 budget… My boards are ready. I’ve got my season pass. I’ve got a place to sleep, and plenty of powder straps, but such a costly inflation of this most dependable grocery item is going to seriously cut into my beer fund!
Earlier today I was checking my Associated Press Twitter feed (ehhem) when this majorly terrible headline caught my eye. “Peanut Shortage Sending Peanut Butter Prices Up”
Another hot, dry summer in key producing states and competition from more profitable crops like cotton have significantly shrunk the U.S. peanut crop this year. The tight supply means consumers will soon pay more for yet another grocery staple.
Ray Henry and Sarah Skidmore; Associated Press (link to article)
If there is one staple meal that every ski bum cannot do without on any kind of a long term basis it’s the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. After a long day of shredding, a night of partying, and another long day of shredding, and maybe a long night of… well…, what I’m getting at here is that there’s no simpler or cheaper way to keep your body fueled up for such a rigorous schedule as a healthy diet of PBJs and PBRs. I cannot live on Top Ramen! This lifestyle requires dense fuel and HIGH ENERGY!
The peanut crop is down 13% from last year, Smuckers is talking about a 30% hike in November, and Kraft Foods says 40% on October 31 (as if it wasn’t already wrong enough, they’re gonna raise the price on Halloween!). I’m feelin kinda Jiffed here.
I dug around and found a couple of old recipes that can turn cafeteria condiments into a relative smorgasbord but I doubt I’ll be able to limp through the winter on this diet.
Hobo Tomato Soup
Ingredients
– 1 cup hot water
– 2 packets ketchup
– Salt
– Pepper
– 1 packet saltine crackers (optional)
Directions
– Add ketchup to cup of hot water and stir until smoothly blended
– Add salt and pepper to taste
– For extra body, crack saltine crackers into crumbs and add to broth
– Serve hot and enjoy!
Poor Man’s McDonald’s Hamburger
Ingredients
– 1 saltine cracker
– 1 pickle slice
– 1 dab ketchup
Directions
– Place pickle slice on top of saltine cracker
– Add dab of ketchup to top of pickle
– Consume and you will think you are eating a McDonald’s burger
Not Quite a Puff Pastry (dessert)
Ingredients
– 2 saltine crackers
– 1 paper ketchup container of whipped cream
Directions
– Ask a frendly bartender for a cup of whipped cream
– layer whipped cream between saltine crackers
No more PB&Js? No more peanut butter and banana sandwiches? No peanut butter and honey? No more peanut butter and bacon sandos!?
This is looking bleak… Any ideas?