For any serious ski bum, finding time to enjoy oneself on a pair of skis is the ultimate form of worship. Don’t believe us? Attend a ski town church service on a powder day you’ll likely find the pews empty save for a few old-timers.
So to honor our snowy, spiritual roots– we’ve compiled a list of 10 VERY UNOFFICIAL commandments to follow so as not to stray from the righteous path.
10) Thou shall never work during winter
The ‘righteous ski bum’ abstains from labor during the winter months and will do his or her best to save money all summer by working pious hours at three different jobs.
9) Thou shall not have one’s season pass pulled
Do one’s best to avoid crotchety mountain safety patrols and remain steadfast and dedicated to the pursuit of a 100 day season.
8) Thou shall own more expensive outdoor equipment than motorized vehicles
Thou needest proper working ski equipment to shred the GNAR but thou can always hitchhike to the ski area without owning a vehicle.
7) Thou shall never miss a powder day
Ski bums who miss a prized powder day will be held as heretics in the church of Ullr. These wicked souls shall never receive another bro-deal for the length of all eternity.
6) Thou shall prioritize skiing over romance
Do not let girlfriends and boyfriends decide how to spend winter, or lest thee wallow in the regret of what should have been a season of worship.
5) Thou shall always ride last chair
The last flock are often the holiest of god’s creatures and as such disregard the fame of first chair in favor of empty lift lines and high speeds.
4) Thou shall not share secret stashes
Ski bum knowledge is sacred. The ski bum must forsake passing along intimate terrain tips to weekend warriors.
3) Thou shall ski the snow on the ground
Mountain biking and river rafting are activities for those not steadfast in their faith that good skiing still exists. Do not relent to summer temps and flip flops.
2) Thou shall never call last lap
All those who call last run shall be banished to the 9th circle of hell (*a Christmas gondola line @Vail).
1) Thou shall always worship Ullr
As the god of snow, praise Ullr or lest thou wallow in the interminable melancholy that is a snowless ski season.
