Photo: Keith Tonks | Cover: daveynin

Running circles around Washington Park in south Denver, Jack Jacobson is 20 days into his pre-season conditioning calendar with a large “X” marks the spot on October 15th, 2018.

Opening day at Arapahoe Basin he says, “is what this crazy training schedule is all about.” A skier, Jacobsen is a commercial real estate agent who finds just enough time to make between four or five trips up to the mountains every year.

“I’m out here everyday man, finding time to bust out some planks and pull-ups between leg blasters and squats. I’m gonna make everyone else look like gapers.”

“They’re all drinking beer right now but I’m gonna be the one who’s out there getting it done on New Years weekend”

Excluding opening day at Arapahoe Basin and New Years at Vail, Jacobsen plans on skiing other “Epic” resorts Keystone on President’s Day weekend and Breckenridge on closing day. Although his ski days are typically shared with the entirety of the Front Range’s 1 million skiers, his 7 day season total is “totally worth these brutal July training sesh’s”

Besides his own self-regulated training regimen, Jacobsen finds time to regularly check in with his own massage therapist, kinesiologist, and physical therapist all of whom make sure he’s in top shape when it’s time to click in to his bindings. “You gotta be sure, you can’t go out their half cocked.”

Jacobsen’s girlfriend thinks the opposite. “Jack’s totally half cocked, he’s out there at Red Rocks before work once a week doing the Rocky thing at the top. He thinks he’s that Mayweather guy training for some boxing match.” She went on to mock her boyfriend’s actual time spent on-mountain saying, “He goes and gets in lift line while I’m still asleep. When I finally wake up and get on the hill, he’s only been skiing for 30 minutes. It’s more like he’s training to stand in lift line.”

*This is a work of satire

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