5 Signs It's Time To Move Back To A Ski Town

5 Signs It's Time To Move Back To A Ski Town

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5 Signs It's Time To Move Back To A Ski Town


Any ski bum who is moving away from a ski town will give you a long list of why they’re leaving. From relocating for a boyfriend/girlfriend, to a new and real career or simply being “over it,” these has-been’s are moving and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

However, some ski bums aren’t meant to live a life away from Mt. Tomahawk. Sooner or later they come back and you must unwillingly accept their downtrodden return, tail between their legs, and skis in tow; ready to snake your line. But what gives?

Here Are The 5 Signs It’s Time To Move Back To A Ski Town

5) Career Continues To Be In The Service Industry

A life spent waiting tables and bumping chairs was not what God intended for this ski bum. So after leaving Mt. Tomahawk, dreams of hot wife (or husband) and a four bedroom, three bathroom house with a yard for the pooch swirled through your head. However, humping it out in the corporate sales world made that dream turn into a nightmare and transformed the nightmare of living with four roommates in a ski town into a dream. Funny how that works…

4) You Have Broken Multiple iPhones While Sitting In Traffic

Traffic is a bitch and nobody feels this as intensely as those fortunate souls who have lived in a ski town. The feelings of frustration and helplessness stand in harsh contrast to the feelings of elation and wonderment while riding a chairlift on a powder day. So instead of throwing a few hoots at the powder skiing public, you throw your iPhone across the car, fracturing the screen and thus heading to the Apple store in defeat.

3) Constantly Interrupting Conversations With Tales From Mt. Tomahawk

Once ski bums have split ways with Mt. Tomahawk, they’ll patiently wait for anyone to mention the word skiing. Once they do, they’ll hop into their conversation like a fat kid into the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheeses. Suddenly, the room collectively rolls its eyes and walks away as you reminisce on skiing “The SG (So-Gnar) Couloir” at Mt. Tomahawk. Wait… Where did everyone go? 

2) Still Living With Mom 

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Since leaving the ski bum life, a couple of career paths have led down dead-end streets. The result is a job in the service industry (see above) and now you’re living with your mom at the ripe age of 30. However, your parents are much different these days. While eating breakfast in the kitchen, you’re disgusted to see mom’s new boyfriend sneaking out the side yard on his way to a serious walk of fame. Time to get the eff out of there…

1) You Go To Gaper Day Parties On Days Other Than April 1st

Chances are if you’re celebrating Gaper Day on a day other than April 1st, it’s high time to move back to Mt. Tomahawk so you can celebrate the inner gaper you have shining deep within your groin on the correct date.

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