squaw valley usa terrain park

Sadly, yet honestly, this is Squaw’s biggest bestest jump and this trick is about as rad as you can get on it.  Boo.

By:  Huck Radcliffe

This is a plea.  Actually, this is a desperate begging appeal.  But, it’s a simple one:  Just build us a goddamn park, Squaw.  A good park.  A park that lives up to the name Squaw Valley USA International Mountain Resort Home of the 1960 Winter Olympics.  Not the crappy, pathetic, deplorable, inadequate, worthless, miserable, wretched Riviera Terrain Park that we have now.

What I’m getting at is the fact that the current terrain park at Squaw is sad.  The jumps aren’t even big enough to throw 720s. THIS IS SQUAW VALLEY & WE DON’T EVEN HAVE A JUMP BIG ENOUGH TO THROW A 720!!!  (Ok, some guys are throwing 7s in that shameful park, but they have to snap them as hard as they can and there is no style nor progression in that.)

Squaw is arguably the best ski resort in North America with the highest concentration of pro-skiers anywhere. And we don’t even have a good park?  That’s f$%ked!  Period.  I don’t even know what I’m trying to explain or argue here.  There is no argument.  It’s just total money grubbing bullsh&t!  The reason they aren’t building us a park is because it costs too much money.  Well boo-f#@king-hoo.  You’re Squaw.  It’s your job to step up and make this the best mountain on the planet.  It’s not your job to put cement shoes on Squaw and allow us sink straight to the bottom of the ski world.  We don’ wanna swim wit da fishes!  Capiche!?

terrain park squaw valley

Hey!  Squaw!  This is how a park should look, okay!?   Steamboat springs, CO.

Ok, okay.  They gave us a superpipe.  That was cool.  Oh, wait, hold on.  Squaw didn’t give it to us, Red Bull did!  Squaw was ‘nice’ enough to let us play on it for 8 days.  Oh, wait, hold on again!  They promised us 8 days but only gave us 7.  That’s right, I remember now.  They think they can pull the wool over our eyes with a decent pipe for 7 days when Squaw was open for 180 days this year.  Thus, we had a good pipe for exactly 3.8 % of the season. Wow, thanks guys!  Hope we get a pipe for a solid 4% of the season next year!  Yaaayyyy!!!!

As for the “pipe” in the Riviera Park?  It has been filled to the brim with snow since the beginning of March.  Squaw overshot their budget for that atrocious pipe by three times just on the initial build, which begs the question:  “What the f$#k are you guys doing?” Before we get any further into this particular subject I’ve gotta inform the reader, if you didn’t already know, that the Riviera pipe is a direct insult to half-pipe skiing and riding everywhere.  It’s tiny, poorly maintained, too narrow, and in general, a fantastic waste of time.

whistler blackcomb summer terrain parkWhistler-Blackcombs badass summer park.  Summer, I tell you!

In conclusion I will give Squaw/KSL a proposal.  A proposal…no, a chance.  A chance to be better.  A chance to improve our quality of life.  An opportunity to dredge Squaw Valley from the depths of the abyss and bring us back to the shining light that has always defined our Mountain.  Like the Problem, the Solution is simple.  BUILD US THE MAINLINE PARK NEXT YEAR!

The Mainline Park = Super Pipe, Huge Jumps, Challenging Rails, Solid Terrain Park Crew.

I leave you with this:

“KSL is temporary, Squaw is forever, and chicks dig Park!”

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