The 7 Best River Guide Jokes

The 7 Best River Guide Jokes


The 7 Best River Guide Jokes


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The following jokes are courtesy of

River guides have to put up with a lot. Questions such as, “Does the raft trip take out where we put in?” and “Will I get wet?” make river rats want to lean over the side and return their breakfast to the river.  However, raft guides are usually funny people and whether playing practical jokes on clients or telling actual jokes, they’ve got a good arsenal to work with.

However, in private they are some self depricating people and I like that. So without further ado, here are The 7 Best River Guide Jokes.

7. Q: What do a groover and a lady river guide have in common?

A: If the seat is still warm, your buddy was just there.

6. Q: How many river guides does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 4… 1 to screw in the lightbulb while the other 3 exaggerate the size of the hole.

5. Q: What is the difference between God and a River Guide?

A: God doesn’t think he’s a river guide.

4. Q: How do you find a male raft guide in the dark?

A: It’s hard

3. Q: What’s the difference between a raft guide and a mutual fund?

A: A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money.

2. Q: What do you call a river guide who just broke up with his/her boyfriend or girlfriend?

A: Homeless

1. What’s the difference between a female river guide and a bear?

A: One is big and hairy. The other is a bear.


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