A major ski industry season pass company announced Tuesday that it will offer full refunds to passholders after what many skiers are calling an all-time brutal winter.
According to a statement, passholders who logged fewer than twenty “good days” this season could qualify for a complete refund. The company reportedly defines a “good day” as one featuring actual snow, at least partial visibility and conditions better than “fine, I guess.”
Customer service guidance reportedly includes additional review categories such as “advanced disappointment,” “catastrophic optimism” and “multiple weekends ruined by weather apps.”
Industry observers were stunned.
“This would be completely unprecedented,” said one mountain consultant. “Season passes are basically a nonrefundable pact between skiers and false hope. Offering money back because the season was terrible goes against everything the business stands for.”
Under the policy, guests would need to provide proof of purchase, a short account of seasonal suffering and, in rare cases, screenshots of texts that read: “Should we still go?” followed by “No.”
Some skiers were cautiously optimistic.
One passholder who claimed his best run of the season was from the parking lot back to his car,“If they’re actually refunding people for this winter, that would be the wildest thing to happen in skiing since a lodge burger hit $28.”
Others immediately grew suspicious, noting that the ski industry is not exactly famous for handing money back for bad snow, bad weather or emotional trauma.
By late morning, social media was full of debate, disbelief and one very obvious question: What day is it?
As it turns out, no major ski pass company is offering full refunds for a terrible season.
It is April 1.