Get ready for opening weekend rock dodging!

Ski season is here (well, at least for Massachusetts)! The rest of the country is eagerly awaiting opening day, but the temps are dropping and snow is coming. With eyes on the forecast and social media announcements, it’s time to start prepping your gear and mind for those impending first turns. To help you get ready to send it for the first time this season, here are 10 people you can expect to see hitting the slopes on opening weekend:

Ski Resort Employees

No, I don’t mean the lifties who are actually working. Many resort employees are heading to their assigned ski town to get ready for the core season to start. They might not have housing or a paycheck yet, but they are ready to ski. If you see an employee, give them a well deserved “thank you” and some snacks.

Diehard Ski Bums

The extreme ski bum will do anything humanly possible in order to ski. Did they hike up a mountain to ski 10 ft of snow in the middle of summer? Yes. Will they be sending it full speed 25 times on the one run that is open? Also yes.

Intense First Chair Guy

Every resort has one: the guy (or group of friends) who camps out every year to claim the VERY FIRST chair of the season. They will have coffee, lawn chairs, and an extreme desire to tell everyone else to suck it.

Retirees

While ski towns are sleepy in the offseason thanks to the lack of use by second (or third) homeowners, the wealthy retirees are ready to rock. Golfing is closed, so why not go skiing?

A Child In Over Their Head

By October, parents are tired of their bored children running around like a pack of hyenas. Why not let them get their energy out on the slopes? Sure they can’t ski well, but who cares as long as they burn enough energy to take a nap during wine time?!

An Idiot Tourist Who Flew There

I recently saw someone ask Keystone on Instagram how many runs would be open during the first weekend because they want to book flights now. While enough people told this guy it was a bad idea, that definitely won’t stop some people from jumping on those insanely cheap Airbnbs. They will inevitably be really pissed off that their “ski in/out” condo isn’t actually skiable because there is basically no snow.

Confused Hikers

This example is another one I saw last year on opening weekend. Someone was all mad on social media that hiking trails weren’t open when they visited. This happens all the time in Colorado, since people don’t seem to understand that the weather in Denver is NOT the weather in Summit County.

News Reporters

Get ready to wave in the background and give a shout out to your mom! Local news stations are almost always on the ground for opening weekend. After all, it’s a big deal for these small mountain towns! Will they ski? No. But they might just give you your 10 seconds of fame.

Someone Severely Underdressed

It’s October, how cold can the mountains be? The answer is very. While spring skiing is all about t-shirts and shorts, fall skiing is not. It’s cold and damp, yet someone will still be dressed like they are ready to hit the Caribbean. Bonus points to the person in a costume with nothing underneath.

Influencers

True Story: I once was skiing on opening weekend and a local influencer was kneeling in the middle of the one open run to film an intro. We sprayed snow on them to deliver a point, and we were shaded in their video for getting too close. If you are out there with a GoPro on opening day, please go away.

Get ready fellow ski bums! Ski season is about to be in full swing. Remember to make good life choices on opening weekend. I’ll see you in the lift line soon!

Photos Courtesy of Keystone Resort, Jerry of the Day, & skiingsolo