After Being Denied Mortgage, Mountain Dweller Brings Collection Of Old Skis To Prove Net Worth

After Being Denied Mortgage, Mountain Dweller Brings Collection Of Old Skis To Prove Net Worth


After Being Denied Mortgage, Mountain Dweller Brings Collection Of Old Skis To Prove Net Worth

A ski bum with mortgage woes is doing anything and everything to prove his fiscal viability to a loan officer at Rocky Mountain International Bank.

On the Tuesday following Christmas, Greg Moore walked into the main-street location of the Rocky Mountain International Bank in Hailey, ID with a shopping cart full of used skis he has refered to as “priceless” in the past.

After being told in early December that his financial prospects would not warrant a loan for a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom mobile home property valued at approximately $210,000, Moore decided to pull out all the stops.

Related: Ski Bum’s Dog Hasn’t Been The Same Since That Edibles Incident

“I’m a collector,” said Moore who also works as a bartender at the nearby watering hole ‘Moose Knuckles.’ Upon entering the bank, the mortgage candidate pleaded his case once again.“My collection here is definitely worth a lot, at least $7,000 I’d say.”

“While we usually honor physical assets, these skis do not qualify,” said bank supervisor, Brian Thurman. “While we appreciate Mr. Moore’s dedication to securing a loan with our bank, we can not honor these extremely used and simply put, haggard assets at this particular time.”

Moore was notified of the negative response prior to even seeing a banker. In fact, the loan candidate was standing in the teller line with the shopping cart full of skis when Thurman told him of the bank’s decision. “This is bullshit” erupted Moore who went on to explain why his used skis should be taken into consideration. “These are fucking Volkl White Wizards here man, and those– those are a pair of limited edition Salomon X-Mountain,”screamed the ski bum.

When asked to keep his voice down by a woman behind him in line, he responded vehemently “this completely violates any and all skier ethics, I’m a paying season pass holder god dammit!”

When asked to elaborate on what he meant by skier ethics he responded, “like… we need to take care of soul of this community and obviously this money man isn’t looking out for the little guy” The bank in question has since published a release concerning the incident.

The statement reads as follows:

To Whom It May Concern,

Rocky Mountain International Bank prizes its diverse and hard-working customers. We hope to meet all our customer’s needs but sometimes certain approaches to securing a loan will no longer be tolerated. These include: claiming old skis as potential assets, leveraging one’s season pass history, or threatening to cut off drink service for any bank employee at Moose Knuckles Bar And Grill.


Rocky Mountain International Bank

*This is a work of satire


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