Skiing is the best sport in the world without a doubt.
So it may come as a surprise that the best sport in the world has its very own “bad days.” These days can turn the sport you love and cherish into a red headed stepchild that makes you question humanity as a whole.
However, every ski season has an abundance of good days that outweigh the following bad days.
Note: If you can avoid these days at the ski resort and instead pay your bills and restock the wood pile, you’ll be glad you did.
6) The Day After Thanksgiving
The perrenial opening day for most ski resorts across the country falls either on Thanksgiving or the day after. Although Thanksgiving crowds are not as crazy compared to Christmas or the 3-day weekends of the spring, the low snow amounts limit terrain and force the few skiers populating the resort onto one skinny slope, infamously titled the “White Ribbon of Death.”Â
There is a reason it’s called the “White Ribbon of Death.”
5) MLK Saturday
After the Holiday Season ends, ski bums enjoy their God-given holiday “Skidmas.“However, Skidmas is broken up by a single weekend in January, when skiers and draggers flock to the ski hill for a 3-day weekend of snaking lines and clogging chairlift queues.
So if the snowpack isn’t a nightmare, go for a backcountry mission instead of skiing the resort on this unfortunate Saturday.
4) The Day After Christmas
Little Timmy and Annie just got new skis, their parents just shelled out 5 figures for their week worth of sking, and it’s time for the whole family to get out and shred.
Like most families, Christmas tends to get the parents amped up a bit and if you’re having more fun than Mr. Smith and his wife and kids… WATCH OUT.
Mr. Smith is an ego maniac and he’s having none of your local shenanigans at the bar or on the hill. Chances are…Â He already yelled at your server buddy this morning while eating breakfast and will continue to yell at everyone on the hill till he forgets about spending a fortune on 6 days worth of $100 lift tickets for his family of 5.
That’s more than you plan to make all winter!
Also Read:Â Why The Christmas Holiday Blows for Ski Bums
3) New Year’s Eve
The holiday season rages in the bars and base areas of ski resorts around the country and you can’t find a chair-lift or beer without a line if your life depends on it.
So in order to ring in the New Year right and avoid the gaper gathering at the mountain, go to the Liqour store, buy a bottle of goldschaleger, and sing “Auld Lang Syne” naked from the front porch of your ski bum condo while flocks of gapers take pictures with their Iphones.
You’re about to be Instafamous.
2)Â Christmas Eve
After a day of travel, Mr. Smith and his family of five are ready to ski. That said, there is still so much to be done…
Timmy and Annie both need rental boots, ski socks, ski masks, and a goofy fucking hat with polyester tentacles sprouting from their little noggins.
And it doesn’t stop there.
They need all of the following before a 9 a.m. ski school lineup. Once on the slopes, the kiddos and their ski schooler instructors will cut any and all lift lines while you wait like a chump. Makes sense considering the Smith family just piled on a mountain of debt akin to 4 years worth of college for this 6 day ski vacation.
All in all, this is the price you pay to live in a ski town…
1) President’s Day
Boozed up 20-somethings that skied 10 years ago are ready to point those tips downhill. The result is a free for all with no boundaries (ski area or otherwise). Whether skiing a line just outside the boundary or standing at the base enjoying a beer, Joey, Bruce, and Jerry all have their GoPro’s on and they’re coming for your knees.