by Thomas Como
Top 10 Reasons You’re A Gaper
#10. Neon – Unless you are wearing an outfit that your sponsors fitted you in, give it up. There is a reason its retro.
#9. Rear Entry Boots – The only time the words rear entry should be spoken is in the bedroom.
#8. Ski Boots during Apres – Nothing says you’re a gaper more than the poor planning of not having after ski shoes at your disposal.
#7. Stupid Questions – Where’s the machine that makes all them moguls? How about what planet are you from?
#6. Skiing with a backpack – What the fu*k is in the pack? You’re not Scot Schmidt and FYI, just cause you have a bunch of straps hanging off your pack does not make you look like a mountaineer.
#5. Portable Radios – If you have to be in touch with your friends and family that bad, are you really on vacation? Ditch the leash ya gaper.
#4. Balaclavas – Really? And don’t think you’re off the hook if you’re swapping it out with a bandanna.
#3. Camel Backs – Hey guys, you’re skiing at a resort. If you’re ever more than 1 chair ride from a bar or drinking fountain…. you’re lost.
#2. Skiing in Jeans – Unless accompanied with your Starter Jacket from 1991, you’re a gaper.
#1. License Plates – If you live in west of the Rockies and you have Vermont, New Hampshire, New York or Ontario license plates, you’re a gaper!