The day we had a snow storm come through Breckenridge. You can see the slopes off in the distance, and a snow plow "grooming" the road in the foreground. It was a good day to stay home and relax.
These are ocean surface temperatures | Photo Credit: NOAA
These are ocean surface temperatures | Photo Credit: NOAA | Cover Photo: brando.n

*This is a work of satire.

In a new study that delves into the meteorological mechanisms behind the southern oscillation climate pattern, NOAA officials are now 100% sure there will be a 65% chance of a El Niño affecting the northern hemisphere by the end of the calendar year.

According to the Union For Mindful Meteorological Science, the claim is now 100% verified.

The new estimate comes on the heels of groundbreaking research into the effects forecasts have on the weather. The study, which was co-authored by TV weather personalities Jim Cantore and Al Roker, shows how probability estimates actually affect sea surface temperatures far out in the Pacific Ocean.

This is a graph | Image: NOAA
This is a graph | Image: NOAA
These are La Nina's and El Nino's | Photo Credit: NOAA
This is another graph | Image: NOAA

“It all starts with a prediction. And then the weather changes ever so slightly in the prediction’s favor,” said Roker with his chin placed gently on a closed fist. The Today Show host continued by indicating, “the science is the science of statistics and how those stats affect the chances of a El Niño.”

Q: How Sure Are They El Niño Is Likely To Occur This Winter?

“We’re 100% sure that there’s a 65% chance of El Niño for the 2016/2017 ski season,” Cantore replied. He went on to add that it is most likely going to give the east coast record snow.

Here's this graphic again | Photo Credit: NOAA
Here’s this graphic again | Image: NOAA

Roker told this reporter that Gore Mountain in New York State will be having a record year as news of a 50% chance of a 17′ snow season sweeps across north Jersey. Meanwhile in the west, Snowfall will return to the Sierra with predictions increasing the chances of a record breaking winter to 40%.

“All that snowfall has a 75% chance of curing California’s drought and putting water back in the pools of southern California– where it belongs.” – Al Roker

Cantore chimed towards the end of the interview saying, “there’s a 65% chance of thundersnow, so we got that going for us.”

Find future updates on La Niña here: www.UnofficialNetworks.com

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