UNOFFICIAL REPORT: 90% Of Ski Town Men Considered Cuckolds By Shakespearian Standards

UNOFFICIAL REPORT: 90% Of Ski Town Men Considered Cuckolds By Shakespearian Standards

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UNOFFICIAL REPORT: 90% Of Ski Town Men Considered Cuckolds By Shakespearian Standards

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Little does he know… | Photo:Thiago Hirai | Cover: Chickisen

Cuckold (noun) – The husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision,

A recent survey conducted by The Unofficial Institute For Progression And Regression shows that a large majority of ski town males are completely unaware of their significant other’s infidelities.

The survey, which was executed as part of a research study to determine Mt Tomahawk’s ‘Ski Bum Quality Of Life’ metric, shows that most male mountain town dwellers have no idea that they are being rendered a cuckold by their luscious girlfriend or wife.

A depiction of the cuckolded community of Chamonix, France in 1899.

The disturbing trend shows that while female:male ratios have largely improved amongst high altitude populations, women are continually unfilled and left desiring more from what Shakespeare would refer to as, ‘blissful cuckolds.’

In order to find fulfillment, many women decide to play the numbers game with the delusional hope that they will finally find a significant other who is as responsible and caring as they are ambitious and grounded.

But nay, they reap what they sow and are left with a population that’s 90% cuckolds, or so concludes the study.

What’s worse is that this disturbing movement has forced “best bro’s” and “homies for real” to separate as well. When interviewed, a woman whose relationship recently hit the rocks over such infidelity admitted, “I wish it hadn’t happened and I wish Joe and his roommate were still friends. Mt Tomahawk is just a weird place. It really is true what they say, ‘the odds here are good, but the goods are odd.'”

*This is a work of satire

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