1425776_724365580925700_1518662993_nImage from State of the Backcountry

* This is a work of satire.

Titled the ‘Powder Hour,’ Mt. Tomahawk Ski Area in Idaho is taking first tracks to the next level.

Instead of offering an early lift or early tram to its high dollar guests, the northern Idaho ski area is now offering 10 lucky guests an hour (8am-9am) of untracked, lift accessed terrain for just $10k dollars. The offer, which covers the first hour of any 12+ inch powder day is a groundbreaking promotion scheme but is rubbing some Mt. Tomahawk locals the wrong way.

According to Ted “Shred” Powell, formerly of Jackson, WY, “This is why I left Jackson,” adding, “early tram ruined first tracks there so I moved up here to avoid all the other jabronies and fur-coat wearing gapers that were snaking my line down Cheyenne Bowl 15 minutes before the real rat race had even begun.”

Other locals have since echoed that sentiment. Liftie and Mt. Tomahawk local, Matty “One-Hit” Humphrey said the new policy violates liftie union regulations by changing operating hours. According to the press release from the resort, lifites must be ready to work an hour earlier than the scheduled 9am opening on 12+ inch days. “Wake up an hour earlier than normal? They better talk to my union rep first,” said Matty while taking a puff off his one-hitter in the top shack. After coughing profusely he added, “I’m still snagging first tracks either way.”

Photo Credit:
Photo Credit: Chris Breikss via Flickr Creative Commons

It seems as though selling first tracks to the highest paying customer is reaching even the small guys such as Mt. Tomahawk.

However, resort officials are claiming the move will sustain Mt. Tomahawk for years to come. “New snowmaking, new lifts, and new access all come at a price,” said president and CEO Cliff Huckley. Later, Huckley added that a new “Bar-2-Base Gondola” is currently in the works. The new lift will allow locals unprecedented access from the ski hill to the town’s favorite watering hole– DUI free. “A lot of locals including myself are often forced to drive to Jack’s wings and two’fers happy hour after a few tallboys in the parking lot and now that won’t be the case.” 

Instead, Huckley claims that locals be able to take their apres party to the gondola, where drinking and other illicit activities will be welcomed. “So long as they don’t bitch too much about the ‘Powder Hour,’ we’re willing to look the other way as far as how the new gondola is used,” said Huckley.

Related: You Can Rent This Entire Utah Ski Resort For A Day!

Although weather is ultimately the determining factor for the “Powder Hour” experience, Huckley said he’s already had multiple inquires from interested parties, which include a bachelor party from Texas, a group of investment bankers from New York, as well as a couple of pro skiers who’d be happy to promote the ski area if “Powder Hour” access was granted free of charge.

* This is a work of satire.

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