Those roommates are in fact Smitty’s biological parents, although he’s reluctant to tell friends or even strangers about the situation. That self-conscious attitude comes after losing his job in Telluride.
As a snowmaker for the resort, the 31 year-old son was afforded affordable housing and a semi-livable wage but that’s all gone out the window since. According to one of Smitty’s close friends, he failed to show up for his late night shift after getting “way too blazed” and “no call, no showing” nearly a month ago.
The broke and seemingly shameless Smitty is now back at home after a month of unsolicited couch surfing in Telluride without a valid ski pass. His parents even busted Smitty smoking marijuana twice on the back porch since his return, a practice Smitty’s mom, Karen insists is “strictly forbidden under our roof mister.”
“If you were paying your own way, that’d be one thing, but as long as you’re in our house, you play by my rules– YOU GOT THAT”
Smitty has yet to find a job in his hometown but Karen’s husband Paul says that because “lil’ Steve guy just can’t keep his hands off the dope.” Paul told this Unofficial reporter they’d gladly see their ski bum son leave as soon as possible. “But god knows that boy’s got no other ambition other than smoking dope and skiing, neither of which pay the bills or get you the girl.”
*This is a work of satire