Unofficial News: Skier Still Thinks It's Real Funny To Tell Tourists, 'Jackson Sucks, Tell Your Friends'

Unofficial News: Skier Still Thinks It's Real Funny To Tell Tourists, 'Jackson Sucks, Tell Your Friends'

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Unofficial News: Skier Still Thinks It's Real Funny To Tell Tourists, 'Jackson Sucks, Tell Your Friends'

Upon re-telling the same cliche joke for what seemed like the 1,000th time this season, Charlie Rayburn’s friends winced in pain as he insisted on notifying a tourist in the ski shop that when she returned home she ought to,
“spread the word — Jackson sucks, tell your friends!”

Not only is the joke completely worn out but the excessive volume with which Rayburn delivers the bit is causing his coworkers to turn their back on the once beloved retail rep.

At first, the quiet native of Maine was one of Teton Village Snow’s favorite employees. Handsome, outgoing, and even tempered, Rayburn was on a fast track to becoming shop manager before his forays into comedy got the best of him.

It all started earlier in January when he overheard a snow covered ski tuner return from ski break and tell a rental tech, “it sucks out there today, don’t go skiing.” While the rental tech smirked, emitting a barely audible ‘hah,’ Rayburn lost his shit.

“Even I knew that was a shitty joke,” says Freddy Taylor, the ski tuner who gave the sarcastic statement. “But he went all in and just started laughing his ass off. It made me really feel weird.”

And so began Rayburn’s descent into shitty sarcastic ski comedy. 

A few days later, he adopted another bit to place in his comedic arsenal when overhearing a bartender tell a visiting college girl how in ski towns, “the odds are good but the goods are odd.” Again, he broke out in hysterical laugher, naive to the fact this joke was as old as his parents.

Seeing the reaction, the bartender said the whole thing made him feel, “worse than odd.”

“Listen, I just try and make conversation at the bar, that’s it. I wouldn’t even consider that a joke but what else am I gonna say to a girl whose 20 years younger than I’am?

Rayburn’s favorite new-old jokes include such stupid fucking lines as “you don’t lose your girlfriend here, you lose your turn” as well as, “I get to ski everyday. #Myjobsucks.”

“Lately, he’s been stuck on the ‘Jackson sucks, tell your friends’ bit,” says boss and former friend Katherine Fraser. “It’s getting real old, real fast and if he doesn’t stop soon– he’s gonna get fired because none of us can stand these stupid fucking jokes much longer.”

*This is a work of satire

 

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