Finding decent lodging in Vail is so tough, one Denver resident has resorted to befriending a complete douche just so he can sleep at this asshole’s Vail house on the weekend.
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Following two years of paying $350/month for a “shitty weekend ski house” that requires a 30 minute bus ride to the base, Rick Foster is now spending a lot of time with Richie Ferguson. Ferguson, whose parents run a Denver-based hedge fund, is supposedly a complete “asshole.” This according to multiple sources who asked to remain anonymous out of fear of being banished from his hot tub parties in the future.
The premeditated relationship blossomed this fall as Foster realized he didn’t want to resign his seasonal lease in Vail.
The whole thing started after a casual run-in at a local neighborhood bar in south Denver. Upon meeting, the two quickly connected over their mutual love of skiing but after an hour, Foster quickly realized what he was dealing with.
“When I first met the guy, I thought he was a pretty solid dude but by the end of the night I kept asking myself, ‘is this guy for real?'”
Over the course of 11 or so Coors Lights, Ferguson would end up bragging about his own bullshit commercial real estate career and wouldn’t stop there. Family bank accounts, trips to Chile, it just kept going until he mentioned his grandpa’s place in Vail that sits above the Riva Bahn Express Lift.
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Shortly after this lengthy and exhausting exchange, Foster swung his arm around Ferguson and told the little prick, “you know what Richie– you’re okay in my book.” Richie responded warmly saying, “you know what– you’re welcome to come stay and ski anytime.”
Since that affirmation, Foster has spent nearly every single weekend of the winter thus far at the “Ferguson Estate” although the owner’s grandson is starting to get tired of his new “guest.”
“You know, I’m starting to think he’s just doing this because of my house, he’s been ditching me on every powder day. He says it’s because there are no “friends on a powder day’ but I’m not so sure.”
Foster was last spotted sitting in the steam room with 4 empty beers after a long day of powder skiing all the while muttering to himself, “ski-in, ski-out baby…”
*This is a work of satire