With turns like these, why would anyone leave? | Photo (+Cover): Barclay Idsal

While a slew of young ski bums turn in their bibs for a pant-suit combo this upcoming fall, one ski town bartender is protesting the ‘going away party’ movement by throwing a ‘staying here’ party all his own.

Related: Fear Of Never Getting Laid Again Keeps Ski Bum In Unhealthy Relationship

42 year-old Jackson Hole local Barry Stanislaw recently created a Facebook event to promote a party geared towards all those ski bums continuing to “live the dream.” When asked what prompted hosting such an event, Stanislaw told Unofficial Networks that he’s tired of watching all these ski bums go to parties for those leaving the ski bum dream behind. “These kids aren’t committed to the dream,” said the 40+ bartender to which he added, “so why should I commit my Saturday evening to saying goodbye to someone I likely won’t see in lift line ever again?” Which we have to admit– is a good point.

The ‘Staying Here Party’ will feature Jackson locals with no plans of leaving Teton Valley for the forseeable future. Anyone who’s announced plans or even an inkling they might leave town will be turned away at the door. At the time of publication, Stanislaw’s Facebook Event had just 10 people attending the party.

*This is a work of satire

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