7 Reasons Not to Date a Skier

7 Reasons Not to Date a Skier

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7 Reasons Not to Date a Skier

1. Skiing Powder Is Better Than Sex

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Skiing powder is better than sex… Is it really? Yes, for two reasons. It lasts longer and if your equipment has issues, it can be replaced. Therefore, getting down will always come in second place.

2.Early Mornings and Coffee Pots

downloadHeading towards the Tetons, and the storm. 4:30 AM, Wyoming. Image by Forrest Mankins

Waking up at ungodly hours to drive over two hours to chase the storm is bad enough. But clambering around the house/apartment with skis, poles, boots, and backpack in tow makes sleeping in during the winter damn near impossible. Not to mention, the coffee maker is left on with a half full pot every damn day.

3. Ski Movies

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“You have to see this ski movie…” If you ever hear this phrase, run far—far away.

4. Quality Time is Ski Time

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From November through May, skiers will find any excuse to bail on dinner plans, weekends visiting family, and weddings to feed their hunger for more powder turns. Be aware that during winter, relationships always take a back seat to skiing. Which leads me to my next point.

5. Job Security, What’s That?

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In order to get in as many days in as possible, skiers avoid 9-5’s at all costs. So instead of brunch dates on Sunday, skier boyfriends/girlfriends will actually be waiting your table at said brunch spot.

6. The Beach Is Not at A-Basin

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As winter’s grasp loosens and springs starts to show up, most people tend to desire warmer climates after a long winter and even longer mud season. But not skiers, their beach is at Arapahoe Basin. This comes as a surprise to their girlfriend/boyfriend, who thought they meant Southern California, not a muddy parking lot situated high in the mountains.

7. Excess Pre-season Stoke

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Starting in September, premature winter stoke rears its ugly head. This excess and unnecessary excitement bubbles up like Sulphur and it stinks just as bad. Nobody wants to hear about all the hare-brained ski adventures that are in the works. Chances are, skiers will complete one out of a hundred of these hypothetical, far-fetched ski dreams.

 

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