Yep, you guessed it, those bastard, God-hating “scientists” are finally coming around and realizing that a “super storm” of “biblical proportions” will inundate California and send us back to the stone age. The US Geological Survey is even calling this storm scenerio ARKstorm (read “ark”) and the storm is to last for approximately 40 days; very convenient. This apocalyptic beast is specifically aimed at California and I, personally, have already gathered two of every kind of animal I deem important: pigs for company, dogs for meat, and gerbils for entertainment.
Noah (and NOAA) could’ve left us some sort of a better plan. I fully understand God’s desire to drown and choke-out all Californians because of our debauchery, willingness to sodomize each other, and hedonism, but HEY, we are currently the 8th largest economy in the World, without the rest of the USA, dammit! What will the rest of those lazy US savages do without us!?
Apparently, Super Storms don’t give a sh#t about our economic domination:
” The scientists built a model that showed a storm could last for more than 40 days and dump 10 feet of water on the state. The storm would be goaded on by an “atmospheric river” that would move water “at the same rate as 50 Mississippis discharging water into the Gulf of Mexico. Winds could reach 125 miles per hour, and landslides could compound the damage.” AP
Clearly someone should take this seriously. But, sh#t, this is California, we don’t “worry” about stuff like that (read: earthquakes), we take it as it comes. Well, take this Cali:
“We think this event happens once every 100 or 200 years or so, which puts it in the same category as our big San Andreas earthquakes,” Geological Survey scientist Lucy Jones (…..and it hasn’t happened since 1861…..)
Yeah, well, that San Andreas fault thing hardly ever happens and even when it does, it ain’t no thang:
Personally, I welcome this “super storm”. I’ve got 28 packets of Top Ramen, I know exactly where the neighbor dogs live (mmm…Dog Ramen), my powder skis are waxed up, and my house lies directly in an avalanche path. Bring on the STORM!! I mean, what could possibly go wrong!?
Check out this report about the USGS’s well, um, report:
From: Yahoo News
A group of more than 100 scientists and experts say in a new report that California faces the risk of a massive “superstorm” that could flood a quarter of the state’s homes and cause $300 billion to $400 billion in damage. Researchers point out that the potential scale of destruction in this storm scenario is four or five times the amount of damage that could be wrought by a major earthquake.
It sounds like the plot of an apocalyptic action movie, but scientists with the U.S. Geological Survey warned federal and state emergency officials that California’s geological history shows such “superstorms” have happened in the past, and should be added to the long list of natural disasters to worry about in the Golden State.
The threat of a cataclysmic California storm has been dormant for the past 150 years. Geological Survey director Marcia K. McNutt told the New York Times that a 300-mile stretch of the Central Valley was inundated from 1861-62. The floods were so bad that the state capital had to be moved to San Francisco, and Governor Leland Stanford (F#$K Stanfurd) had to take a rowboat to his own inauguration, the report notes. Even larger storms happened in past centuries, over the dates 212, 440, 603, 1029, 1418, and 1605, according to geological evidence.
The risk is gathering momentum now, scientists say, due to rising temperatures in the atmosphere, which has generally made weather patterns more volatile.
The scientists built a model that showed a storm could last for more than 40 days and dump 10 feet of water on the state. The storm would be goaded on by an “atmospheric river” that would move water “at the same rate as 50 Mississippis discharging water into the Gulf of Mexico,” according to the AP. Winds could reach 125 miles per hour, and landslides could compound the damage, the report notes.
Such a superstorm is hypothetical but not improbable, climate researchers warn. “We think this event happens once every 100 or 200 years or so, which puts it in the same category as our big San Andreas earthquakes,” Geological Survey scientist Lucy Jones said in a press release.