I rode up the gondola with a very nice cougar today who happened to own two houses in Telluride and was very friendly. It got me thinking: Should I set her up with one of my buddies? Can she ski? Does Telluride have the finest cougars in all the land? She was talking about tree skiing so she must not gape it too badly….We all know about the famous cougars of a little place called Aspen, so I figured we ought to compare and contrast celebrity cougars. Was Mary Swanson from Dumb and Dumber a coug? Maybe a tad young, I thought. No way- she was born in 1963 I found out, definitely cougar status. Aspen also has Heidi Klum who at 38, with a couple of rug-rats, is getting into the realm believe it or not . They have Melanie Griffith and Goldie Hawn as well. Hot damn, we have some stiff competition!
Telluride is a dark horse cougar-wise. Its where the cougs go when they don’t have to be flashy to work it…they are a stealthy predator. We have great cougars like Kelly Ripa and Tom Cruise’s ladies, Nicole Kidman (previously) and Katie Holmes (alright maybe not a coug). We also have down to earth cougars like Emmy Award winner Susan Saint James who donates much of her time to Special Olympics and the Telluride Foundation. I hear Laura Linney is really cool too; she’s got a house here and is a picture perfect cougar. It is tough to compete with Aspen but we’re doin’ just fine down here. So what do you think, who has the better cougars? You be the judge…
Aspen:
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Telluride:
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All I got to say is Tom Cruise knows how to pick em.
Is Katie Holmes a cougar? I think we need to put that to the vote!
Maybe more milf status John, I knew it was a stretch
Having surveyed the land in both towns and on the mountains several times over the years, the correct answer is Telluride. While both Aspen and Telluride have some cougars who shred, when you look at the Hotness x GAPE status x Bitchy factor, it is no comparison.
Hottness: Both areas have some tremendous ta-ta’s and sculpted bun’s
= Tie
Gape Status: Aspen has a few hotties who shred, however, Skier to Gaper
ratio will have to be Telluride due to the sick lines that the
ladies shred off 14. = Telluride
Bitchy factor: A cougar is great to have around, however, if you want to use
your crampons for something other than ice climbing, you may
want to find another. While Telluride does have a little attitude, it
is nothing to the unbearable elietest attitue found at Aspen.
= Telluride
So if you are wanting to find the perfect cougar who you can rip some fresh lines and not have to wait at the bottom, go rip Telluride for the best selection around.
We all know that you cant fuck with PARK CITY when it comes to cougars!!! Have you ever been to the Spur??
Thank God Oprah sold her house in Telluride or else our scores would be dropping quick…
As of now 76.9% of people believe Telluride cougars are hotter. Hell yeah T-ride cougs!
I’ll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.
I am going to go with Telluride too. The cougars used to come by the closing party for the Freeskiing World Tour and clean up…
I thought the feline of interest was the Lynx
in this aspen, but how about jackson hole!? we had sofia vergara, sandra bullock, Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci, and Calista Flockhart and more.
‘Cougar’ implies that the still-hot sweetheart in-question wants you for some carnal fun…if only for a brief fling. I seriously doubt that’s the case with the typical actress/model types you’re bragging up. Maybe you should change Cougar to Well-Preserved Eye Candy or ‘Who’s got more hot middle-age actresses and models who’ll never give me the time of day – Te-hell-u-ride or Assburn.”
you forgot Daryl Hannah…
ahh i love my town! NOT RICH!