Aspen bag ban

Those damned California hippies have made there way into Aspen and have gotten their tentacles into EVERYTHING over there.  Disgusting…simply disgusting.

On tuesday, Aspen’s plastic bag ban will take hold of the entire town.  Shoppers will now be forced to use reusable bags or stoop to using 20 cent paper bags.

Carbondale, CO has also been taken over by filthy hippies.  They’ll be complying with this ridiculous law as well starting Tuesday.

Hippies at City Market & Clark’s Market in the town of Aspen will be giving away free reusable bags this week.  

I personally fear that these bags will be made of hemp and doused heavily with both patchouli oil and Lysergic Acid Diethylamide.

patchouli oil covers up their terrible California hippie smell...

In fact, Aspen has become so “hippified” that the Aspen Chamber Resort Association recently announced that they’ll be bailing out of the US Chamber due to their “archaic” Climate Change policy.

“…another domino in the US Chamber battle fell on Tuesday when the Aspen Chamber Resort Association announced that it would end membership in the US Chamber because its “archaic” stance on climate policy didn’t dovetail with the goals of a ski town.” – chamber.350.org

It has become obvious to me that we need to take back Aspen from these nitrous huffing hippies.  But they’re not the only ones…

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CURRENT CITIES WITH PLASTIC BAG BANS:

Alaska = Bethel, Fairbanks, Hooper Bay

California = Alameda City & County, Albany, Berkeley, Dublin, Emeryville, Fremont, Hayward, Livermore, Newark, Oakland, Piedmont, Pleasanton, San Leandro, Union City, Carpintaria, Calabasas, Dana Point, Fairfax, Laguna Beach, Long Beach, LA County, Malibu, Manhattan Beach, Marin Country, Millbrae, Palo Alto, Ojai, Monterey, Pasadena, San Francisco, San Jose, Santa Cruz County, Santa Clara County, Santa Monica, Sunnyvale, San Luis Obispo County and City, Arroyo Grande, Atascadero, Grover Beach, Morro Bay, Paso Robles, Pismo Beach

Colorado = Aspen, Carbondale, Basalt, Telluride

Connecticut = Westport

District of Columbia = Washington

Hawaii = Hawaii Country, Kauai Country, Maui County

Maryland = Montgomery County

New York = East Hampton, Rye, Southampton 

North Carolina = Hyde, Currituck and Dare Counties

Orgeon = Portland

Texas = Austin, Brownsville, Fort Stockton, South Padre Island

Washington = Bainbridge Island, Seattle, Edmonds, Bellingham, Mukilteo

These hippies are everywhere…

What do you guys think about the plastic bag bans?

Should other ski towns ban plastic bag?

plastic bags in the wild

PLASTIC BAG NUMBERS:

  • Over 1 trillion plastic bags are used every year worldwide. Consider China, a country of 1.3 billion, which consumes 3 billion plastic bags daily, according to China Trade News.
  • About 1 million plastic bags are used every minute.
  • A single plastic bag can take up to 1,000 years to degrade.
  • More than 3.5 million tons of plastic bags, sacks and wraps were discarded in 2008.
  • Only 1 in 200 plastic bags in the UK are recycled (BBC).
  • The U.S. goes through 100 billion single-use plastic bags. This costs retailers about $4 billion a year.
  • Plastic bags are the second-most common type of ocean refuse, after cigarette butts (2008)
  • Plastic bags remain toxic even after they break down.
  • Every square mile of ocean has about 46,000 pieces of plastic floating in it.

These numbers from reuseit.com

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27 Comments

  1. JayBalls says:

    Plastic Bags Rule!

    Reply
  2. Banker Bob says:

    Damn, we have a deal in Montgomery County, Maryland. Plastic bags are only 5 cents a pop.

    Reply
  3. fecal matter says:

    what ever will i put my shit in now?

    Reply
  4. Get over it. The civilsed world uses reusable bags. The best ones are in France.

    Reply
  5. Dr Longwood says:

    stupid post is stupid

    Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    I honestly cannot tell if this post is meant to be satirical…and that disturbs me.

    Reply
  7. noja says:

    the generalization of “hippies” in this post is horrifying

    Reply
  8. ChemDawg says:

    “Miles is a Snow Human, Mountain Guide, Writer, and recovering Coprophobic from California. Traveling, Surfing, Skiing, Mountaineering, Language, and Culture float his boat, but don’t rock it.”

    Since Miles is from California, I would say that this post is about how ridiculous it is that people think it is ridiculous to use an viable alternative to something that is a major component in our landfills.

    Reply
  9. K says:

    This whole science thing smells of liberal conspiracy

    Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    Well it’s good to know that unofficial doesn’t give a crap about the environment. Surprised and appalled
    ps: a lot of skiers are hippies

    Reply
    • umm... says:

      I know it’s hard to sense sarcasm via typing, whether it’s texting or on the computer but the stats on the bottom of the post kind of give it away…..

      Reply
  11. derp says:

    LOL WUTS LYSERGIC ACID DIETHYLEMINE

    Reply
  12. HECKLER says:

    PROVEN MILES IS A SCHMUCK ALONG WITH JAKE

    Reply
  13. Duh says:

    Reusable bags become filthy and bacteria factories and I always reuse plastic bags and studies have shown that reusables have a larger carbon footprint, Tell that to an airhead hipster hippie who wishes he lived in the 60s
    Oh then wash your reusables….gee doesn’t that require electricity

    Reply
  14. AKFreeski says:

    Hey, heads up; Fairbanks Alaska doesn’t have a ban. It was rescinded shortly after it was passed. Might want to edit that one…

    Reply
    • Smilemon says:

      I was just gonna say the same thing. Fairbanks didn’t ban plastic bags. Way too many rednecks for anything green to every pass there.

      Reply
  15. Yakov Smirnoff says:

    In Soviet Russia, plastic bags ban hippies

    Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    People just need to love everyone, we are all on this site for a reason, because we love to shred, so if some place VOTES to do something, let them, lets all just sit back, have a PBR and go skiing. Fucking eh.

    Reply
  17. Kyle Georgeson says:

    First; you’re an idiot.
    Second; you have lots of false information in this article.
    Third; I’m sick of you posting dumb shit and trying to cause a stir. Try to adopt a journalistic approach, or shut the fuck up please.
    Finally; you are the reason I will now be blocking unofficialeverything.com. You posers are destroying the spirit of my hometown, and I wont support that.

    Eat a dick.

    Reply
  18. Nature´s son says:

    Be aware that your gore tex products have an even bigger impact. Now I awoid these bags or I use them repeatedly and try to give them back as it is written on them.

    Reply
  19. ShredZgnar says:

    I grew up in Portland and this plastic bag thing is pretty lame on both sides. Yes they fill up landfills and never go away. On the other hand I snowboard so much My hatch is always soaked with melted snow (I know I need a ski rack) therefor my groceries basically cant go in the back or the bottom of the bag disintegrates. Most people like me rarely threw away these plastic bags anyways they come in extremely useful time and time again. Im sure a plastic bag has saved someones life in a survival situation where a paper might help start a few fires.

    Reply
  20. pasqually says:

    France and Switzerland and even Quebec have had great success with their plastic bag ban. It takes a little time to remember to bring the reusable bags along when shopping, but it just makes sense… and they are machine washable. I’m not sure why this is a Hippie issue… there are tons of documentaries about plastic pollution. Watch my favorite, “Addicted to Plastic” – the Rise and Demise of a Modern Miracle, by Ian Connacher. There is a definite need for plastic in our society but plastic bags are not.

    Reply
  21. .MTT says:

    I remember when the tree huggers had a war on paper bags and promoted the plastic bags/

    Reply

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