My hair looks like it's stuck in my mouth, but if i'm honest, i look WAY better than i did in the other photo.
Photo: Diamond Peak | Cover: Richard Riley

A 22 year-old graduate of Colby College is feeling like an idiot today after arriving at a Colorado ski resort job fair wearing a suit and tie reports Unofficial Networks.

After realizing he was the only person wearing semi-formal attire to an otherwise lackluster gathering of ski bums looking for minimum wage work + complimentary season pass, Stan Freemont decided to stick it out and attend on-the-spot interviews with food and beverage + lift operations managers.

Also Read: Ski Bum Claims, ‘I’m Not Some F*cking Trustafarian’

“Not going to lie, I wish I wasn’t wearing my college tie but fuck it– I’m here”said Freemont, who was previously stoked on the prospect of an on-hill occupation. “Now I just feel like a fucking idiot but maybe the suit will get me a higher paying gig.”

When questioned by UN, the managers didn’t quite see it that way. “We’re gonna pay him first year pay regardless of what he wore to that interview,”said F&B Head Chef Fred Teller. “Pretty funny if you ask me, shit was straight out of a movie… like PCU for skiers.” 

PCU.. the movie

When last contacted, Freemont was confirmed as an on-mountain photographer, aka “sharp shooter.” He reportedly hates the job prospect saying, “all I’m gonna do is sit in the middle of the bunny slope and shoot gapes? That sucks.” Sources later confirmed that ‘Sharp Shooter’ is indeed the worst occupation at the resort, with an attrition rate of 100%.

*This is a work of satire

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