Larry doesn’t need any of these reasons | Photo: Slednecks
“Next season I’m gonna buy a snowmobile.” Someone in every ski town is bound to utter those insane and unguided words eventually.
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Little do they know, purchasing a Braaaaap machine also means purchasing the many pitfalls that come along with it. Big machines that go fast in the deep stuff require lots of hands-on knowledge, some elbow grease, and a boat load of money. So unless you’re an exception to one of the reasons listed below– don’t buy a snowmobile.
Reasons Not To Buy A Snowmobile
6) That one time you checked the oil in 11th grade doesn’t quite qualify as “Mechanical Experience”
Let’s be honest, the closest you’ve ever come to a working garage was at a Jiffy Lube in Denver. They got you out in 45 minutes with a half full oil pan and a dirty air filter they said had been replaced.
5) All that “savings” is going to Phish Vegas tickets instead.
$300 round trip flight to Vegas. Check. $500 dollars for gambling. Check. $100 on bad molly. Check. $1,200 worth of hotel room damage… Scratch the snowmobile, it’s time to pick up that 3rd job.
4) None of your cool friends snowmobile anyway.
All the cool bro brahs ski mo. I mean– what isn’t cool about men skiing uphill in spandex and wearing bike helmets?
3) Just another lawn ornament
Once the snow melts its only a matter of time before your partner or next door neighbor starts bitch’n about your lawn ornament.
2) Say goodbye to your non-sledding friends.
Next time you will see your skier friends will be for the first softball game of the season.
1) Despite what you think, people won’t think you’re any cooler.
Unless you give a friend a ride… Then you’re pretty cool I guess.
Obviously Larry ‘The Enticer’ needs none of these…