Valley Man in Coma After Attempting to Calculate 'Mountain Collective' Benefits

Valley Man in Coma After Attempting to Calculate 'Mountain Collective' Benefits

Skiing

Valley Man in Coma After Attempting to Calculate 'Mountain Collective' Benefits

The algorithm responsible | Photo Credit: The Marten Stuffer

The algorithm responsible | Photo Credit (+Cover Photo): The Marten Stuffer

Warm Springs resident Rick Shannon was rushed to St. Luke’s hospital Monday evening after collapsing at his kitchen table while trying to figure out what pass or combinations of passes would provide the best value for the upcoming Sun Valley ski season.

Related: Wood River Valley Mating Inequality Baffles Researchers

      Blaine County Fire Chief Mike Ellie stated, “the victim was discovered lying face down, unresponsive with smoke trickling from his ears.” Ellie continued, “It took our responders over 2 hours to extricate Mr. Shannon from a debris pile consisting of rudimentary flow charts, calculators, computers and, what appeared to be, an abacus.”

But what if I have time for a 10 hour drive to score pow @Squaw?

The Wood River Valley resident said he was contemplating making the 10 hour drive to score pow @Squaw at some point during the upcoming season

        Sun Valley Co. spokesman Mac Reebok was reached for comment regarding the incident, “We are saddened to hear about Mr. Shannon and wish him a speedy recovery.” Reebok concluded, “Unfortunately, the deadline for pass discounts was last night at 12 am and, assuming he ever regains consciousness, Mr. Shannon will have to pay the full retail price.”

The Wood River Valley’s #1 Fake News Source: The Marten Stuffer

 

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