Ski-bum retirement is a tough deal and every spring, ski bums emigrate from their ski town oasis to pursue a life beyond slashing right hand turns, backcountry laps, and Tallboy PBR’s. The ski bum starts confronting life long questions that in some cases must be answered and in other cases—should definitely be left alone. They range from but are not limited to “am I ever going to meet anyone in a ski town I can spend my life with?”
Or maybe it’s something like this, “I’ll never be able to support a family on a server’s salary.”
Or even worse, “Will I ever be a real (insert creative occupation here) in a ski town?”
All these questions have different answers, some of which might be in the affirmative. However, many ski bums must leave their ski towns and go into what I like to refer as “ski bum retirement.” However, retirement comes in many different forms in many different locations.
Here are the Top 5 Ski Bum Retirement Homes.
- Denver, CO AKA The Jackson Hole Retirement Community
After four years of skiing at Jackson Hole Mountain Resort, it’s time for the has-been’s of Wyoming to move on. Although they are leaving the upscale mountain oasis of Jackson, they don’t want to lose the mountains completely. So instead, they move to the front-range of Colorado to pursue careers as teachers, brand reps, and copier salesmen (and women). What ensues is a life founded on Tinder and Hinge. Yet, as it so often happens, the retirement home get’s a little incestual and retirees eventually settle down with other former Jackson residents, whom they can recount details of their former ski bum lives in front of irritated Denver friends.
- San Francisco AKA Supported Living for South Lake Tahoe
Living in Tahoe was great. The lake, the mountains, GNAR… However, sometimes ski bums must say goodbye to the boys and follow the lady to the city, where her lucrative marketing job awaits. A job as a customer service representative at Sales Force inevitably follows. During the winter, residents can catch the assisted living shred shuttle to Kirkwood every weekend during the winter.
- New York City AKA Aspen Community Care Center
Aspen is home to many New York City natives that want the nightlife they grew up with but located in a more “rural” setting. However, their jobs at the Hotel Jerome cause them to yearn for the jet-set, so they return to New York to follow in their father’s hedge fund footsteps that perpetuates a lifestyle where they can stay at luxury hotels… not work for them. Enter the Aspen Community Care Center, which offers up weekend trips to South Hampton and weekly squash matches at the Racquet and Tennis Club. During the winter months, the center hosts ski trips to Stowe.
- Atlanta, GA AKA Telluride’s Buckhead Retirement Park
After spending three seasons in Telluride, the southerner turned Colorado “native” must return home to Atlanta to pursue a career in commercial real estate and find the southern belle (or gentleman) of their dreams. Unfortunately, neither occupation nor life-partner are available in a box canyon in southwestern Colorado so they go home, where singles from the University of Georgia are a ready to get married ASAP. The result is a life spent devoid of snow in the Buckhead Retirement Park, where retirees recount that one-day in 2010 when it snowed 12 inches overnight.
- Burlington, VT AKA Hippie Hollow Homes
Residents at Hippie Hollow Homes return from ski towns across the country to be close to home. Although skiing in Jackson, Bridger, Alta, Sun Valley, and Tahoe was awesome, they want to see more seasons and harvest quality maple syrup. All the while, residents are cared for in an environmentally conscious setting. Also, after receiving a B.A. in Philosophy from UVM AKA Groovy-UV, an environmental law degree awaits residents of Hippie Hollow Homes, as does a lengthy retirement from ski bumming.