Gaper day at Whistler. photo: jamie bond
Gaper day at Whistler. photo: jamie bond

by Thomas Como

Top 10 Reasons You’re A Gaper

 

#10.  Neon – Unless you are wearing an outfit that your sponsors fitted you in, give it up. There is a reason its retro.

#9.  Rear Entry Boots – The only time the words rear entry should be spoken is in the bedroom.

#8.  Ski Boots during Apres – Nothing says you’re a gaper more than the poor planning of not having after ski shoes at your disposal.

#7.  Stupid Questions – Where’s the machine that makes all them moguls? How about what planet are you from?

#6.  Skiing with a backpack – What the fu*k is in the pack? You’re not Scot Schmidt and FYI, just cause you have a bunch of straps hanging off your pack does not make you look like a mountaineer.

gapetastic

#5.  Portable Radios – If you have to be in touch with your friends and family that bad, are you really on vacation? Ditch the leash ya gaper.

#4.  Balaclavas – Really? And don’t think you’re off the hook if you’re swapping it out with a bandanna.

#3.  Camel Backs – Hey guys, you’re skiing at a resort. If you’re ever more than 1 chair ride from a bar or drinking fountain…. you’re lost.

#2.  Skiing in Jeans – Unless accompanied with your Starter Jacket from 1991, you’re a gaper.

#1.  License Plates – If you live in west of the Rockies and you have Vermont, New Hampshire, New York or Ontario license plates, you’re a gaper!

Unofficial Networks Newsletter

Get the latest snow and mountain lifestyle news and entertainment delivered to your inbox.

Hidden
Newsletters
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

202 replies on “Top 10 Reasons You’re A Gaper”