By -Magee Walker
After ruffling the feathers of Whistler’s local girls in my last post City Girl versus Local Girl (I get it! You girls shower!) I have decided, in the name of equality, to do a comparison of City Dudes and Local Dudes. While I can’t claim to belong to either of these teams, I have completed my fair share of market research and feel qualified to offer an objective and unbiased analysis of the awesomeness level of each subgroup.
Behold: City Dude vs. Local Dude
1) Snowsporting skills: This is not even a contest. I know some guys from the city who can do some pretty cool things on a plank or two, but the boys of Whistler are the best of the best. When I’m watching ski and snowboard movies, I can expect that someone in the room with me was either a) in that movie or b) has at one point been roommates with someone in that movie.
Point: Local Dude
2) Grooming: I recently went back to the city and couldn’t believe all the short hair and smooth faces around me. I liked it! You know what though? The whole shaggy hair and various lengths of beards is almost starting to grow on me. In fact, I have had a number of ladies of Whistler tell me that they prefer this unkempt look. Curious.
Point: City Dude… sorry locals, I’m still not totally there yet.
3) Style: If you think about it, bar clothes for men are pretty standard. A button down shirt (Ralph Lauren for City, plaid flannel for Local) and jeans (dark wash for City, ripped at the hem for Local). Still, there’s just something about a man in a suit.
Point: City Dude
4) Steeze: Local Dude has quite a steezy range. Half of his snow gear might be next year’s line (nice sponsorship, bro) while the other half is lovingly held together by duct tape. Either way, Local Dude’s mountain look has heart.
Point: Local Dude
5) Capability of Buying You Stuff: No big surprise here. While Local Dude is busy having an awesome time, City Dude is busy in his cubicle on the 19th floor of his accounting/finance/real estate/whatever firm. I don’t mind near-poverty—hey, I’m there myself—but if your goal is a bloke who can buy you stuff, you know who to look for.
Point: City Dude
6) Capability of Taking You on Awesome Adventures: City Dudes like to think they know how to have a good time. Maybe they’ll take you to the latest Donnelly Group restaurant. Perhaps you will grab a drink in Gastown afterwards. But Local Dudes know how to have a REALLY GOOD TIME! Here are but a few examples of some awesome things I have done with some awesome Local Dude buddies: Snowmobiling! Shooting stuff at a gun range! Fishing trips in Tofino!
Point: Local Dude
7) Likelihood of Being Attracted to You: There is something amazing about being a girl in Whistler. I have never received this much attention from the opposite sex. I feel like Emily on The Bachelorette (I don’t watch that… yes I do). I’m almost afraid to let Local Dudes know that just an hour and a half away, there is a city FULL of girls, and pretty ones to boot. A night out in Vancouver means more competition amongst the ladies, so girls, you’re going to have to step up the plaid (just kidding, please no hate mail).
Point: Local Dude
8) Likelihood of Parental Approval: Parents love responsible gentlemen. For their daughters, they want men who will hold open doors, have contemplated retirement savings and who know approximately where they will be six months from now. No contest here.
Point: City Dude
9) Availability: Sure, there are loads of handsome men in the city, but most of the ones I seem to meet are already attached to one of the gazillion ladies they have to choose from. Most men in Whistler seem to be single. It’s plain economics, kids: the demand for ladies is simply more than the supply.
Point: Local Dude
10) Long Term Love Potential: Whistler boys have a bit of an eternal-bachelor reputation, but what I have actually learned is that many of them, particularly those who have been here awhile and are beyond the partying phase, are ready to settle down. They just can’t always find a lady to settle down with them. In the city, you might find love, but City Dude has more temptation.
Point: Local Dude
The final tally: 6-4 for Local Dude!
Basically, if you want someone with money and looks (or at least all the looks that money can buy), stay in the city. If you’re keen on passionate people full of awesome, Whistler life is where it’s at! Go Local Dudes!
